Meet me in Montauk

Football season is now upon us, and this season I have decided I’m going to be hardcore. I’ve always liked watching football, and have been known to yell at television sets (especially in sports bars) but I’ve never really had a team of my own. I usually rooted for the underdog or better yet, during the whole U.S.C. vs. Longhorns game, I rooted for the Longhorns. I think I was the only one in Los Angeles to root for Texas. That may have been the sweetest win, too. Well, anywho, I’ve come to the conclusion that I need an actual team to root for this season. I have narrowed it down to three teams, giving me a better chance to have a team in the Super Bowl, and therefore me yelling at the TV. I am ready to jump on the New England bandwagon because (and yes, this was the actual reasoning) I’ve never met a clam chowder I didn’t like. Except Manhattan clam chowder, blech. I am also considering the Buccaneers. ‘Cause they’re pirates. They’ll fight for a just cause, just ‘cause. The third team, I feel, was chosen because I decided to go classic Americana. The Dallas Cowboys. How very J. Crew of me.
I think I totally got my bases covered. I think I have a fighting chance to make it all the way to the Super Bowl this year. I think I need my friends to humor me by going with me to Hooters, drinking beer, and chowing on wings.