Take me home daddy!

We got the band back together. We put the fort back up. We are going on one last reunion tour. I’ve been racking my brain about a funny story that happened when I was little, but everything that I have been thinking of has been sub par. Then I find out I have already been comped to go to the Feminist Majority Foundation 20th anniversary dinner. That’s not a childhood anecdote. But it made me have an Ether moment, as my roommate calls it. See, I found out that one of the main performers that was going to be there was Miss Cindy Freaking Lauper! She bowed out, but I feel that it’s for the best, since I would have been a blubbering idiot and would have told her the story of when I was two. Yeah, that story. The crazy embarrassing story. Wait, you don’t know the Cindy Lauper story? Do you want to know the story? Are you sitting down? Sit down. No, that’s fine, just sit down. I’m not going to tell you if you don’t freaking sit down, dude! Ok, when I was round about two and no taller than a grasshopper, I loved the song Girls Just Want To Have Fun. I mean, as much love as a two year old could have, which is a ton, actually. My mother was giving me a bath, and I heard the song. Oh man, I’m turning beet red, maybe I shouldn’t go on. I’ll tell with my eyes closed so I don’t see your reaction. Tjaksnd thsksla hskksdd gtnslkd hflskdsff tjsll!!! Sslksdjkf dfjkd, sfksm, fkfks. Hmmmmm, that didn’t work so well. (Right now, btw, I am totally making myself laugh. I am so my own best audience!)
Enough with the delays: SPIT IT OUT!
Ok, so I hear the song, and before my mom can do anything, I run outside, naked as a jay bird, and proceed to dance and sing. All the neighbors saw me and started laughing and pointing and I thought they loved it, so I danced harder. I was encouraged. My mother, when she realized I had become a baby stripper, ran outside, put a towel around me and carried me back inside. I tried to reason with her that it was Cindy Lauper, but she wouldn’t let me dance until I had clothes on. By the time I was ready to cut a rug the song was over. I actually remember doing this and the faces of the neighbors and my utter disappointment. Sometimes, the rhythm is gonna get ya! Now that I think about it, I am totally Baloo from The Jungle Book.

please, a moment of silence

Our fort fell. And with it, so did my ability to love. This is the saddest day in the history of really sad times. November 11. Never forget. I have to get rid of SO much cardboard now. Because just looking at it is a painful reminder of what could have been. What should have been. Always the optimist though, now I can Scooba the living room. I don’t think I can ever bounce back from this. That fort was my last high. But like they say, tis better to have built a fort and have it break than to never have had a fort at all. I knew it would have never lasted though, it was too perfect. Our fort was too bright for this world. Wow, is it hot in here? My eyes are sweating. Here's a picture of our fort during better times. When we didn't see the end in sight.

I am so happy Bodhi is building me a fort!

I used the Scooba! I made a night out of it. I am retarded. But that means so is my roommate and friend, cause they totally indulged me. Last night, I went to dinner with my parents and my mom gave me a bag of a million pomegranates and a thousand persimmons. So when I came home, the first thing I did was cut open a pomegranate. I apparently was rusty and dropped a couple of seeds, which I then referred to as Scooba food. After clearing out the kitchen of the chairs and mats and shiz, I prepared the Scooba with the Scooba juice (cleaning solution) We all started talking about Scooba like it was a person. We also named the Scooba. Jacques Cousteau. That was my idea, cause I’m a nerd. Bodhi wanted Captain Jacques Cousteau because we have a pirate welcome mat and therefore, according to Dr. Bodster, we live in a pirate house.) (Side note: Bodhi just got a weird spurt of energy and is now attempting to build a fort. Around me. Bodhi’s fun) Anywho, back to Scooba. After I gave Scooba the juice, I placed it in the middle of the dinning room, pressed the on button, and took a step back. Scooba sang a little beep beep beep song and started moving around. This inadvertently made me jump up and down and dance and squeal. I didn’t know I was doing it until I turned to look at my roommate and friend and they were laughing…with me. Right? I am so not used to constantly having an audience. At all freaking times. To make it an all water theme, we were also watching The Little Mermaid. It was the first time I had seen it in a while and I ended up saying all the lines and singing all the songs, much to their dismay. But back to Scooba… I don’t know if I like it. I’m giving Scooba one more chance. In my living room.

I would be jealous too

Being that I have now adopted borderline OCD in regards to cleanliness, I decided that I needed a vacuum. And not just any vacuum. I decided I needed a Hello Kitty vacuum. So I go to the Sanrio store in the mall (which I HATE HATE HATE) and after not being able to find a vacuum there, decide to go to the Little Tokyo mall on Saturday. In the mean time, I will browse the mall. I go into Restoration and have to leave after I seriously contemplated purchasing a 40-dollar Christmas ornament. (I hate Christmas, but am determined to attempt to enjoy it this year.) After peeling myself away from there, I headed to the Disney store, only to talk myself out of purchasing a Nightmare Before Christmas black feather wreath. I’m still on the fence about whether or not I did the right thing. I leave, convince myself I don’t need a giant princess tent and head to Brookstone. I peruse the bizarre gadgets and get to the home area. That’s where I found it. A robot vacuum! The Roomba. But it wasn’t just any Roomba, oh no, it was the Scuba!!! Meaning it actually washes the floors instead of just sucking. Then I see the Scuba is on sale!!!! Then, after talking to my friendly neighborhood Brookstone employee, Chet (Holy Chet!) he gave me an employee discount as well!!! My robot vacuum that should have cost four hundred gorgonzola’s only ended up costing me one hundred and fifty buckaroos! I walked out of the store and literally had to mentally remind myself not to skip in the mall. I hate the mall. With the saved money, I went to Wacko’s and ended up getting salt and pepper shakers, naked lady shot glasses, a pirate welcome mat, and a new purse. And that was after I talked myself out of getting an exact replica leg lamp from A Christmas Story. I am determined to get into the Christmas spirit this year. Oh holy night!

Somedays last longer than others

Things I have still yet to do…
Put up curtains (The neighbors love me. I’m the most popular girl on the block)
Put together my dresser (Had more important things to attend to, like entertaining at 4am)
Build cardboard fort (Which may now be a rocket, which I am totally okay with too)
Figure out if I should participate in No Shave November (I’m thinking nay)
Prepare for party that Bodhi wants to be the bouncer to (click click)
Clean…everything (I’m on a cleaning spree. I got off work early to clean the bathroom)
On a side note…I’m bored!!!
I’m usually very good by myself, but I don’t like being alone here. Unless it’s in the morning. Then I’m cool. I mean, I’m cool regardless, but in the sense that I'm cool being alone in the morning. And my friend gets out of work at 10. And I still need to fix my stuff…ok, I’m getting off my whaaaambulance now. Listening to Rilo Kiley and PJ Harvey isn’t helping. I need a hobby. Besides waiting for friends. Hey, wanna come over?

Things I need to do...

Put up curtains (seeing as how I already gave the neighbors a bit of a show)
Fix dresser (seeing as how I need a dresser and a place to put my computer)
Get my computer (seeing as how I will have fixed my dresser)
Figure out if we have hard water (seeing as how my hair isn’t gleaming today)
Figure out how to get rid of hard water (seeing as how I like my hair to gleam)
Make cardboard fort (seeing as how we now have more cardboard than sense)
Figure out how to make cardboard fort (seeing as how I want one)

Dream a little dream of me

I had a dream that in order for gymnasts to learn how to get from the top bar to the bottom bar on the uneven bars, they need penguin fur. ( it was a dream, I don’t get it) but as they put this poor penguin through what can only be described as a clipper machine, the closer they got the skin of the penguin, the redder the hair got. And then, when they removed the fact feather/ hair of the penguin, it turns out they don’t have a beak and instead have huge ol’ Angelina Jolie lips, huge, made up eyes, and a little button nose. They looked like teeny tiny trannies. This marks the last time that I eat a 12 inch sub and sleepy time tea. I gotta call my mom and see what the hell penguin trannies mean. I hope it means promotion!