Do you poop out at parties?

So as not to make this story a “woe is me,” story, I am imagining myself wearing a gorilla mask. It’s WAYYYY funnier now.
Ok, second pass out story:
September 2006- So I’m wearing a gorilla mask…and stressing again. Appetite gone, conglomerate of issues that are slowly getting out of control, and to add insult to injury…a bowling party. After the bowling party, one of the friends decides to have a shindig at her house. Much to my date’s opposition, I convince him we should go. At the party, I am talking to all of his friends and he's brooding in the corner. In an instant, I get overwhelmingly tired. I drag my tired self to him and say, “We need to leave. I REALLY need to sleep.” Now he has ammo against me, “ Then go outside and say goodbye to everyone.” “Are you serious? I am going to fall asleep at the table. Please, lets just go.” “Nope,” and he walks out to the porch area to say goodbye to his friends. In my gorilla mask, I walk down the stairs and hug the friend’s goodbye. As I get to the last person, everything goes black this time, and I hear my date say,” Are you okay?” I try to shake the black from my eyes, but it’s as though Ursula the Sea Witch has already inked me. “I don’t think so.”
I’m down.
I’m woken to my date lightly slapping my face and calling my name. All of the friends are around us and my first thought, “Jesus, was I really that tired that I fell asleep in the middle of a freaking party??” My first thoughts are always the funniest. As I try to sit up and laugh and pretend it’s no big deal, I get interrogated! “ When was the last time you ate? “ “What are you on right now?” “When was the last time you slept?” Rather than answer anything, I say,” Can I get some juice? Something with sugar?” When the juice is brought back, I take a sip and spit it out, “This is sugarless!” I’m now laughing. This whole situation is ridiculous. I pull my dates collar close to my face, “All I want to freaking do is go back home and go to bed. Can we do that now, please?” Can you believe I STILL got a ‘nope’? So I go to the girl’s bedroom and lay down, periodically getting interrogated with Nancy Drew wannabes. My date is freaking out, and lying next to me. I turn over and say,” I’m going to go wash my face.” I get out of what may possibly be the highest bed in world and make my way to the restroom. I wash my face, look in the mirror and start laughing. What a freaking night! This wasn’t supposed to happen! I didn’t even want to go bowling. In truth, this was the night I had planned to breakup with the guy. Talk about throwing a wrench in my plans! Ok, so as I’m looking at my self in the mirror and laughing about how I actually am fortunes fool, the girl who owned the house came in. I quickly put back on my gorilla mask and sit on the edge of the tub.
“Hey, can I ask you a question?”
“Sure, whatever. But if I pass out again, it’s your own fault.” Ha ha? Ha? Hmm, no.
“Do you think you’re fat?”
“No. I mean I think I have trouble areas. But we all do, we’re girls. Like you and your tum…”
“That’s not what I mean.”
“Really? What else could ‘do you think you’re fat’ mean?”
“Let’s be serious”
I am, at once, completely in awe of her trying to string together something that makes her feel like she’s Oprah. Yet at the same time, I am rather disgusted by the fact that she also believes she has the skills of Dr. Phil.
“No one here thinks you’re fat.”
“Um, thanks?”
“So you don’t need to not eat.”
Inside my gorilla mask, I’m doing a WTF face.
“You think I’m anorexic?”
“Either that or tweaking.”
“Wow, well, I assure you I am neither.” I get up to stand, get light headed, and sit back down. I start laughing again. “Thank you for your concern.”
This good cop, bad cop thing keeps going on until my date finally comes in and I beg and plead that we leave. I didn’t feel the need to explain what was going on in my life to people who only flip out when their dealer doesn’t answer his phone. He finally says ok, and he helps me to the car, being jell-o leggy still. In the car he tells me that I scared the shit out of him, but that he realized he needed to work out more since when he tried to pick me up, I was a tad too heavy for him. “Are you calling me fat? Are you saying I need to lose weight? Jesus! After what happened tonight, you have some nerve!” He turns to me and before he can say anything I insist I’m joking. I adjust my gorilla mask and stare out the window in a pregnant silence.