I wish, I wish, I wish, I were a fish

Things remembered…the night I went to see Sweeny Todd with my friends, I apparently said something in the car that can only be described as “very telling.” Telling what exactly, I don’t know, but telling nonetheless. Let me paint a verbose picture for you. My friend picks me up, I am…how do you say…a sheet or two blowing in the wind, and my stream of conscience just would not shut up. She said she was over some sort of encounter and therefore no longer wanted to be a person. I told her she was preaching to the choir and I’ve been wanting to be a color for a couple of months now. The color thing is harder than it seems. To be just a color and wearing the color SO does not count. After I realized that I could be anything in this little game we made up, I decided I really wanted to be a fish. Now, here is where the telling part comes in. In my state of no judgment and speaking more to myself than to her, I realized I wanted to be an ugly fish so no one would want to keep me in their house. I also came to the fishy conclusion that I wanted to taste horrible so no one would want to eat me. I want to be an unappetizing ugly water creature. I don’t want to be studied, so the cool fish at the bottom of the sea that light up are out. A blowfish would be fun, except that everyone would want to scare me just so I will puff out. Jerks. Halibut would be awesome because they have two eyes on one side of their head and are constantly camouflaged on the oceans bottom. But…halibut are delicious, and therefore a no go. Sharks are scary and make a fine Chinese soup with their fins. So I’ve heard. I wont eat something that could potentially smell their brother off of me during the summer. Revenge is a fish best served cold. Whale, no. Jellyfish…no. (I also don’t want to be in a Sea World type place. And no to aquariums, too) People catch seahorses just to dry them out and pin them somewhere. Huge no. I need to really think about the kind of fish I wanna be. Ugly and unappetizing and no one will want to study. Just left alone to swim all over and do what I want…this has to be textbook psychology, right?

Late night encounters of the third kind

After a long day in which I learned the fate of one of my best friends, I needed a break. A major break. When I came home, I thought I was just going to go to sleep. It was an exhausting day. So my roommate and a friend and I decided to go to a neighborhood bar. For loud music that makes us not be able to think and drinks that fulfill the same purpose, obviously. So we go and have a great time. It was a much needed diversion. We played songs on the jukebox and sang and danced and end up having a ball. My roommate and I ended up having a discussion about why I was so emotionally detached from current situations and I explained my emotions can only go towards one thing at once. I totally won that round. Anywho, as we were heading out I hear a “HOLY SHIT, NATASHA!!!” And as I turn, I am hoping it’s someone I actually want to see. No such luck. It’s two, count ‘em, two, people that I went to high school with. “Oh my god, how are you?” “ Oh, I’m fine. How are you?” There was a guy that I have actually known since the second grade and a girl that I never really even seen since high school and don’t really remember her that well. The girl would not stop saying how much she missed me and my jokes. Really? I don’t remember even having a conversation with her. But apparently I leave a lasting impression. I asked if they go to the bar often and how I live about three blocks away and bla bla bla. So we have plans to meet tomorrow. I stopped going to malls so I don’t have to speak to these people. There is a reason I haven’t spoken to them since high school. There is a reason I never spoke to her in high school. Is there nowhere safe that I can go to not see people I used to know? I hate the world getting smaller when all I want is an island where I don’t know the people and don’t have to hear “holy shit, Natasha!” on a bi weekly bases. It’s good to be remembered, but things are getting slightly out of had. Maybe a visit to Dr. 90210 will remedy the situation