I wish, I wish, I wish, I were a fish

Things remembered…the night I went to see Sweeny Todd with my friends, I apparently said something in the car that can only be described as “very telling.” Telling what exactly, I don’t know, but telling nonetheless. Let me paint a verbose picture for you. My friend picks me up, I am…how do you say…a sheet or two blowing in the wind, and my stream of conscience just would not shut up. She said she was over some sort of encounter and therefore no longer wanted to be a person. I told her she was preaching to the choir and I’ve been wanting to be a color for a couple of months now. The color thing is harder than it seems. To be just a color and wearing the color SO does not count. After I realized that I could be anything in this little game we made up, I decided I really wanted to be a fish. Now, here is where the telling part comes in. In my state of no judgment and speaking more to myself than to her, I realized I wanted to be an ugly fish so no one would want to keep me in their house. I also came to the fishy conclusion that I wanted to taste horrible so no one would want to eat me. I want to be an unappetizing ugly water creature. I don’t want to be studied, so the cool fish at the bottom of the sea that light up are out. A blowfish would be fun, except that everyone would want to scare me just so I will puff out. Jerks. Halibut would be awesome because they have two eyes on one side of their head and are constantly camouflaged on the oceans bottom. But…halibut are delicious, and therefore a no go. Sharks are scary and make a fine Chinese soup with their fins. So I’ve heard. I wont eat something that could potentially smell their brother off of me during the summer. Revenge is a fish best served cold. Whale, no. Jellyfish…no. (I also don’t want to be in a Sea World type place. And no to aquariums, too) People catch seahorses just to dry them out and pin them somewhere. Huge no. I need to really think about the kind of fish I wanna be. Ugly and unappetizing and no one will want to study. Just left alone to swim all over and do what I want…this has to be textbook psychology, right?

life goes on

It has been a week of work I thought I would never have to experience. Death is easy for the dead, hell on the living. But in the past week, I have also had some really…bizarre situations. My new thing is falling asleep on the couch. I end up desperately trying to catch up on the day’s news events and end up zonked out by the first commercial break. My roommate usually waltzes in at an a.m. time and wakes me to then go to bed. My bed. Not my new couch bed. Another new thing that happened is my roommate and best friend got me a fish. I’ve wanted one for so long. My roommate and I feed it and just watch it eat…and then spit it out. I think my fish is bulimic. No, I really do. My fish has body dismorphic disorder. She thinks her fins make her look chubby. We need to go into counseling. Poor fat fishy. You’re not fat, you’re voluptuous.
Last night my friend’s and I went to see Sweeny Todd. My friend’s friend’s dressed up. It reminded me of when I was in high school and every weekend I would go to the Rocky Horror Picture Show and dress up. At first you think, “ Damn, I am so with it and in the know!!” But then during the movie…your dress starts riding up. Your shoes really start pinching. Was it this cold in here always? I wish I were wearing jeans. Would it be weird if I brought a blanket? Maybe I’ll bring a blanket next time. But then they’re really going to make fun of me. I should bring a poncho that way when they pick on me next week and squirt their water gun at me, I can remain somewhat dry. But knowing that jerk Jeff, he’s probably going to crawl over and shoot under the poncho. Damn, I hate Jeff.
But lucky for me, I didn’t have any of that thought process. Until right now, I mean. I was cozy and comfortable…until we went outside. May I just say I really am eagerly anticipating global warming. Last night was Siberian husky cold. What was the deal with that? Bone chilling. We live in Los Angeles for a reason!!! I mean, in addition to the occasional celebrity sighting and an array of venues to keep our minds from never having to actually think about the important things, we live here for the weather!!!!