Love me, love my ninja like skills

Sometimes, when an awkward moment rears its ugly head, I take drastic measures to put the kibosh on it. Case in point, in a galaxy far far away and a time long long ago (last year in Encino) I was seeing someone. And no matter how long we were together, there were still awkward silences. Well, this special fact always bothered me, and one day I had had it. We were sitting on his couch and watching a movie of no importance. (probably something about teenagers trying to lose their virginity by the end of summer, he liked those.) I think we had also just had a little tiff. The only reason I think that is because we weren’t sitting close to each other. I’m just laying out the scene for you, geesh! It was a hot lazy day and all of the remotes for the TV, DVD player, VCR, and whatever else were strewn about the coffee table. Well, one remote, the heaviest of all the remotes, was haphazardly teetering on the table. There were two things I could have done since the remote caught my eye and wouldn’t let go: A) push it back onto the safety of the table, or B) be awesome. I of course chose the latter. Since the guy was completely engrossed in the film, it wasn’t hard to be stealthy, but it was going to be hard to get noticed. During a pivotal scene in the fifth act with two teenagers dry humping each other, I slowly extended my leg off the couch and proceeded to lock my knee. I brought my missile of a leg directly over the remote control, and raised it about 6 inches in the air. Then, with a noise that can only be described as me breaking the sound barrier, I brought my leg crashing down, hit the remote and made it fly off the table and into the sliding glass window. The window shook a bit and generated a glass like wail that in window speak means, ” holy shit!” At once I had a smile and look of accomplishment that only the astronauts have. I turned to him for a nod of excitement. I was instead met with a frowny face that bordered on a “what the fuck” face. Never one to back down, I said that he was just mad jealous of my ninja like skills. He told me that in fact he was not jealous but concerned with the window. After I showed him the window and insisted that it was fine, he was more than a little eager to try. Poor guy, he never did make that remote control fly…but it did kill the awkward silence.